Introducing Caveman Mode: Because Hosting Dashboards Should Grunt — Entexion Blog

We are building something a little unusual.

Entexion is a managed hosting platform. We have invoices, dashboards, service panels, dunning emails — all the things that make running a hosting business feel like filing paperwork in a cave. And that gave us an idea.

What is caveman mode?

Caveman Mode is a UI language toggle — exactly like switching between light and dark mode — except instead of changing colours, it changes how Entexion talks to you.

Flip the switch and your entire client portal starts speaking in caveman. Every string in the interface gets a prehistoric upgrade. Invoices, error messages, renewal reminders, service notifications — all of it.

Normal mode: "Your payment failed. Please update your payment method."

Caveman mode: "CAVE CARD BROKEN. MAMMOTH ANGRY. FIX NOW OR SERVER GO DARK."

All functionality stays identical. Numbers are still numbers. Dates are still dates. Just the words grunt.

Why are we doing this?

Because hosting dashboards are stressful and soulless. Because AWS will never have caveman mode. Because you cannot feel anxious about a failed payment when it reads like a warning from a woolly mammoth.

We are a small team. We build real infrastructure with real uptime. But we also believe that the tools founders use every day should occasionally make them smile. Caveman Mode is our answer to every bland, corporate, enterprise-grey SaaS dashboard in the world.

How does it work technically?

It is a simple preference toggle stored in localStorage — the same mechanism as dark mode. One click in the navigation. Every UI string swaps to its caveman equivalent from a pre-built string map. Flip it back anytime — we will not judge you, though we will be disappointed.

When is it coming?

Caveman Mode is in active development. We are building the string library now. If you want to be first to grunt at your invoices, get a hosting plan and you will have access the day it launches.

In the meantime, read more about caveman mode and what to expect.

UGH. 🦴